Educate Yourself About Autism Before You Make Snap Judgements

People really need to educate themselves on the characteristics of autism, especially if they are a vice principal of a school. 

Yes, my son has dyed his hair red. Yes, my son "talks to himself". Yes, my son isolates himself from others. Yes, my son does not look you in the eye, especially if he does not know you. 

No, this does not mean that my son dyed his hair red because he heard about the Aurora, CO shooter who dyed his hair the same exact color red as the Joker's and went to a movie theater to shoot up the attendees of "Batman: The Dark Night". No, this does not mean that my son has turned schizophrenic and hears "voices" in his head and is answering to them. No, this does not mean that my son is contemplating any deviant behavior by withdrawing from the general population of high school students. 

My son is "stimming", a very common characteristic of autistic children. His form of stimming involves an internal movie in his head that he has memorized and he verbalizes each scene, word by word, often acting out what he has seen. And about the hair color? He started with blue, being his favorite color, but then moved on to green, orange, and now red. Colors based on his mood or even just the season (green at St. Patrick's, orange at Halloween). Who knows why he chose red, but it sure wasn't because of the Joker in the Batman movie (by the way, he's never even seen that movie nor has heard of the Aurora movie theater shooting).

So when we got called by the school psychologist to come in for a meeting regarding the above (and regarding yesterday's post as well), we were quite concerned. Luckily, the psychologist has known my son and has been his case worker since he was 2 1/2 and in the special preschool for developmentally delayed kids here. She told us of the vice principal's concerns, clearly embarrassed over having to share them with us and very apologetic. She stood up for my son and totally explained  to the VP how he is a gentle, innocent, and naive soul who has no malicious intent with regards to planning a form of school violence. We thanked her for standing up for our son and for reassuring us that she is on our side (and gently encouraged us to gently encourage our son to choose his next hair color with discretion).

But a day later. You know what? I'm pissed. How dare that VP jump to snap judgements over a 15 year old boy just because of his hair color and behaviors. My son! My sweet, loving, funny, and brilliant son who happens to be on the autistic spectrum. Please, people, especially if you are school personnel, please educate yourself about autism before you make such snap judgements.

Thank you.

Poems to Share

Every year our local high school publishes a collection of poems that students have written and submitted. My son has three of his poems published in this edition, not submitted because he wanted his name in lights, but submitted because he was offered extra credit by his teacher, who told the students that anyone published would receive extra credit. No matter his intent, I loved what he wrote and wanted to share them.

Beauty in Islands

Same environments,

Different ways,

Different tools,

Different clothes,

Different games,

But all are connected by one great common factor:

Their culture is music and dance is their art.

They have different instruments

With different sounds

And different movement to their songs.

The islands of Hawaii, Tahiti, Aotearoa, Fiji, Samoa, and Tonga

Make up the Polynesian Triangle,

Where beauty is endless,

Natural resources are never useless,

And the culture has not been forgotten.

A November Dream

Do I know you?

Have we met?

No, your face I could not forget.

We haven't met, 

But I know you.

Your face is unforgettable too.

I saw you

In a dream, I think.

You rescued me from Hades' brink.

I don't remember

Who you are,

But you shine brighter than the stars.

And now I look

Into your eyes.

I see a soul that could not lie.

I look at you

And match your gaze.

Your eyes are bright as summer days.

I look at you

And I see me.

I can recall a time of glee.

Now I remember

You are me.

And you have come to set me free.

The Desert Sands

Ages of dust have covered the earth

With fear and death and flesh and birth.

I know there was a city here—

A city built on love and cheer

A peaceful people settled down.

They saw the forest all around.

They said, "We'll build a city here.

A city where we need not fear."

The houses grew up from the trees.

I look, and I can almost see

The happiness that once was here.

But here I stand and feel no cheer.

The flesh of seven hundred bore

The flesh of seven hundred more.

A nation started rising here.

A nation born of love and cheer.

The time flew by. The nation grew,

But all I see is brown and blue.

A revelation strikes me here:

The sand and sky are void of cheer.

And so I think, and then I see

In my mind's eye, a sea of trees.

A civil war is in the forest here.

The trees are burning; death is near.

The birds have ceased their rapturous song,

But no-one knows what had gone wrong.

The fields, I see, were red right here.

The earth was stained with blood and fear.

A thousand years or more have passed.

That nation, sadly, did not last.

A people was forgotten here.

A people plagued by death and fear.

What once was earth is earth again.

I close my eyes and feel their pain.

They say there was a city here.

I sit to rest...and shed a tear.

Going Back Home Again

Last weekend I flew back to my old hometown area of Sacramento, California to attend my Roseville High School class of 1985 reunion (25 years). I went from 7,500 feet to 50 feet above sea level! Flying into Sacramento International Airport was a breeze, thankfully, and I had no trouble getting my rental car and heading out onto the interstate toward Roseville. I took the back way since I wanted to stop by my old neighborhood where I grew up.

Along Hwy 99 north there were houses where rice paddies used to be and I was surprised at the growth. I drove through the little town of Elverta which hasn't changed a lot. Elverta was named for a woman, Elverta Dike, whose husband donated property to the church. My old neighborhood was on the outskirts of Elverta and actually had a stop light now! The old neighborhood looked very much the same, only not as run down as I remember it being when I lived there. I was amazed to see my old house completely renovated and added onto. It stood out among the other homes, not fitting in any longer. I did notice the mulberry tree that I used to climb was still in the side yard and a pine tree rose behind the back of the house that I remember my dad planting. I did not see evidence of "Willie" the weeping willow tree in the back yard any longer. It was my all-time favorite climbing tree.

As I made my way to Roseville where I was staying (and the town that I was bussed to for high school) I couldn't believe the new subdivisions and shopping centers. So much had changed and there was so much traffic that was overwhelming. Where alfalfa or hay fields were are now all covered in suburbia. Roseville is a town that was settled by old miners from the Gold Rush back in the 1850s. It became a railroad town on the outskirts of Sacramento. Now it couldn't be considered "ouskirts" anymore since all of the individual towns merged together into one metropolis in the Sacramento Valley.

Before going to the high school for a tour and a football game, I went to In N Out Burger to eat dinner. There are no In N Outs here in New Mexico (yet) and I had to make a stop for a cheeseburger, fries, and vanilla shake.

About 10 alumni went on the school tour and we were surprised at so many changes. New and converted buildings took the place of the soccer field, auto shop, art department, and administration buildings. I was glad to see the amphitheater was still there, a place where my friends and I always had lunch and spent each day people watching, talking, and sometimes crying as teenagers are prone to do. It was so fun to talk with other alumni and to share our stories and pictures with each other as we watched the football game (and yes, Roseville won, beating the crosstown rivals Woodcreek Oaks).

On Saturday I was able to visit with a dear friend of mine that I've known since I was 11 years old. The two of us raised hell growing up and have remained close all these years. She took me to a delicious restaurant in Granite Bay for lunch.

Saturday night was the Big Event, dinner and dancing at Aura Lounge in downtown Sacramento. The filet mignon was extraordinary! About 40 of us met for dinner and it was so wonderful to get reacquainted with so many of my classmates and friends. Some classmates I got to "meet" for the first time, not having talked to them while in high school at all. Some people I didn't remember at all and some people didn't remember me. But we all enjoyed talking and then dancing the night away upstairs on the dance floor. I think an additional 10-15 people came just for the dancing. We closed the club and a bunch of us went a couple of blocks down to Ink, a restaurant where we had munchies and said our goodbyes. I returned back to the hotel at 5 am and slept 'til noon.

On Sunday I drove to Davis with an old friend from the neighborhood I grew up in. I lived in Davis for about 7 years (leaving in 1997) and wanted to visit the area again. I took a picture of the duplex we lived in and the first house where my oldest son lived. We drove around the UC Davis campus where I graduated back in 1992. Again, there were so many new buildings that the school had a completely new feel to it. Davis has also grown larger with new subdivisions and shopping centers. The only thing still separating the town from Sacramento is the Yolo Causeway, that is an elevated bypass above the flood zone along the Sacramento River. Anyway, we ate lunch at Woodstock's Pizza, which was still very good after 13 years. We had pepperoni, sausage, and black olives on whole wheat crust.

Sunday evening was spent visiting more and packing up for my return trip home. I got to the Sacramento airport with no trouble and even had time to spare before my flight to explore the shops and to eat a Cinnabon. I remember when the airport was Sacramento Metropolitan Airport and didn't have shops and a food court! Flying out of Sacramento toward Albuquerque felt bittersweet...leaving an area where I grew up and people I love, but returning back home to beautiful northern New Mexico and my family. The fall colors are spectacular here right now (Santa Fe below).

One thing I'm glad of being back in New Mexico is that there are a lot less people here and traffic isn't so extreme. It might be another 5 years before I get to go back to Roseville again, but I took away some wonderful memories of this visit.