Am I Just a "Housewife" Now?

I had quit my job this summer and so have not been working lately. It was a part time job at the elementary school that I had held for 3 years and I found was not fulfilling my life anymore. It was a great job to have because it allowed me to work part time while earning a bit of extra income for the family, and also had the same school schedule as the kids. The problem with quitting my job, though, has been the fact that I am now a "housewife." Not a "stay-at-home mom" like I was when I chose to be home with my pre-school aged kids for 10 years. There is a difference and it is difficult to come to terms with how to define myself when I'm not working.

Anyway, as a result of not working, I've had to discover new little ways to be more frugal. One way has been to get a library card and to not buy books anymore, just borrow them. Those who know me know that I love to buy books--that feeling of owning my books is an addiction in itself. But for the good of the finances, I'm making regular trips to the library instead of the Amazon.com Book page.

One book that caught my eye the other day that I checked out was "To Hell with All That--Loving and Loathing Our Inner Housewife" by Caitlin Flanagan (2006). I'm halfway through it and have really enjoyed it so far. It is a sarcastic, yet well-researched book on how women's roles have changed in the last 3 decades (post WW-2) and how many women have gone from housewives to career women to stay-at-home mothers. The author discusses the high price that women pay for giving up their careers to devote themselves to home and family, the rewards that come from that choice, and the repercussions that comes from such a sacrifice.

In the town I live in, there are so many highly skilled and educated women who have chosen to be an at-home mother while their husbands have careers at the Lab. In the circle of friends that I have who are not working (or work part time at a job unrelated to their field) I know an Industrial Engineer, Mechanical Engineer, Construction Engineer, Dietician, Geologist, Mathematician, Computer Scientist, Veterinarian.....the list goes on. The point is that we're all unemployed.

In the book "To Hell with That" the author writes,

"The at-home mother has a lot on her mind; to a significant extent, she has herself on her mind. She must not allow herself to shrivel up with boredom....She must go to lunch with like-minded friends, and to the movies. She needs to feed herself intellectually and emotionally; she needs to be on guard against exhaustion. She must find a way to combine the traditional women's work of child rearing with the kind of shared housework arrangements and domestic liberation that working mothers enjoy. Most important, she must somehow draw a line in the sand between the valuable, important work she is doing and the pathetic imprisonment of the housewife of old. It's a tall order."

During a run with friends yesterday, one said, "Los Alamos is turning out a bunch of marathon-running housewives" and she's right. So many of my friends have taken up running on trails together to keep active and fit as well as to fight boredom and depression. It is also the perfect opportunity to socialize with other women who share the same situation. It's what I call my "running therapy" where I run out all my demons, worries, and stress. In addition, I have non-running friends that I go to the gym with for a strength training workout. Afterwards once a week we go to have coffee together. More therapy! Also one or two times a month, a bunch of us ladies get together to play Bunco or to go to a "Ladies Night Out" dinner.

I am lucky to have a husband who is supportive of my need to get out of the house and socialize with my friends. :-)

~~~~~~~~~

Neat

Two Worthwhile Books and an Honorable Mention

I recently bought two books from Amazon.com that grabbed my attention because of their titles. I originally was searching for books to read with a child about Asperger's Syndrome, which is most related to the diagnosis of PDD-NOS that my son has. Both conditions are on the Autistic Spectrum, but people with them function at a higher level than those with classical Autism.

The two books I bought that I mentioned above are called, "All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome" and "All Dogs Have ADHD" and are both written by Kathy Hoopmann. (Coincidentally, the two books are listed with a book that my sister loaned me called, "Look Me in the Eye: My Life With Asperger's" by John Elder Robison in the Frequently Bought Together section on Amazon's page.) 

Both the "Cats" and the "Dogs" books are in an easy-to-read picture book form that would be great to display on your coffee table or in a waiting room somewhere. There are colorful photos of cats or dogs on each page in various situations and poses that depict the Asperger's or ADHD traits. Without spoiling the whole book (which I couldn't anyway because the photos are what makes the books), here are some direct quotes:

From "Cats":

• An Asperger child looks at the world in his own unique way.
• An Asperger child often has exceptionally good hearing, and loud sounds and sudden movements may scare him.
• His other senses can be heightened too, such as touch and smell.
• He's often fussy about what he eats and wants the same food presented in the same way, day after day.
• Other kids make friends but don't invite him to play, and he may be bullied.
• He may become a loner caught up in a world of his own, where small things fascinate him for hours and he can do the same thing over and over again without getting bored.
• When he talks, he goes on and on about the same topic and bores everyone silly.
• Daily rituals comfort him and he likes a good routine and gets worried if the schedule is changed.
• He is honest, which is great of course, but sometimes he's too honest. Yet when he tries to tell a lie, he's not very good at it.
• As he grows older he senses that he is different from everyone else and feels as if he belongs on a different planet, like an outsider looking into a world he never truly understands.

From "Dogs":

• He knows what he wants and he wants it NOW.
• When opportunity presents itself, he goes for it, and may dive straight into a situation without thinking of the consequences.
• He is easily disorientated, he's always losing things, and often can't find what is right in front of his nose.
• An ADHD child can be distracted by things other people don't notice, and his priorities may differ from those around him.
• His senses can go into overload with everything going on, so he goes from one task to the next without finishing anything.
• Books can be hard to understand, and things learnt are tricky to remember.
• He doesn't know where to start, and even if there are instructions, he may not know how to follow them.
• People keep saying "You can do better if you try harder," but it's simply not true.
• Being very sensitive, he gets sad because he wants to be like everyone else, but he just can't.

Both books have the statement, "When things get too much for him, he may tantrum." Also, both books state: "Sometimes others think they can bring him up better than his parents can." And both books do finish off with the last half of the book dedicated to positive statements like getting support from those he loves, persistence and perseverance skills, and growing up to be successful adults like Henry Ford and Einstein.

So in a roundabout way, I did find some books to share with a child about Asperger's and think this picture book format might make it less intimidating than a chapter book. They are really funny when you see a cat or a dog photo with each statement like the photo of a cat batting a string for the "can do the same thing over and over and over again" statement. In the ADHD book, there is a photo of a white dog literally dragging his master along the ground as he pulls the leash with the "when opportunity presents itself, he goes for it" comment.

"Look Me in the Eye" is third on my reading list, after the audiobook I'm currently listening to and it's sequel in book form.

~~~~~~~~~
Neat

Catching Up With My Reading

One thing that is nice about driving all day to a destination is being able to catch up on some reading. It is about a 6 hour drive from here to my sister's house where we spent the Thanksgiving holiday. During the drive up I was able to finish reading The Host by Stephenie Meyer, which is a book that she wrote for adults.  Not for teenagers like her Twilight series.  It was getting dark during the last two chapters and so I read with the interior car light on even though I know that is not a good idea.  The book was really good so I just had to finish it.

Then, on the way back home I was able to finish reading Way Off the Road by Bill Geist.  It is a collection of stories about small-town America. One of the funniest was called "Mike the Headless Chicken".  I'm glad my dad sent me the book to read.

Also on the way home I was able to start a new book called Rebuilt: My Journey Back to the Hearing World by Michael Chorost.  It is about a man that completely loses his hearing as an adult (after being hearing-impaired all his life) and undergoes a cochlear implant.  My sister recommended this book and so far it is very captivating.

So in between all of the other things I do during my days, I will keep on reading. It is what I like to do in my "down time" right before bed at night. My problem is, my To Be Read pile is getting larger even though I'm still reading eight different books at one time.  They're all so wonderful!

~~~~~~~~~
Neat

Similarities

I had problems falling asleep last night and laid awake for a while just thinking. Since I had just watched the next-to-the-last episode of True Blood that was Tivo-ed, vampires were on my mind. I got to thinking about the similarities between True Blood the HBO series and Twilight the books.  

A few similarities came to mind and made me wonder which came first: the novels that True Blood was based on, The Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlaine Harris or the Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer. Of course, I haven't read the eight books that have been written so far that True Blood is based on, but I have read the Twilight series. Since I was in bed and didn't want to get up to research at 11:00 at night, I just pondered for a while.

So lets talk about the similarities and then I'll share what I found out when researching:

1. The main character, a female human, falls in love with a male vampire (Sookie—Bill vs Bella—Edward)
2. Shape shifters make themselves known (Sam, a dog most of the time vs Jacob, a wolf) and occur because of genetics
3. Murders are occurring all over a small town (Bon Temps, LA vs Forks, WA)
4. There are good vampires who don't attack humans and bad vampires that do in both stories
5. Mind-reading abilities (Sookie vs Edward)

Book 1 of The Southern Vampire Mysteries, Dead Until Dark was published in May 2001.  Book 1 of the Twilight Saga, Twilight was published in October 2005.  So this answers the "which came first..." question. What I wonder is if Stephenie Meyer read The Southern Vampire series before writing Twilight. The Southern Vampire series is still being written and book 9 will be coming out in May 2009. But the Twilight series is completed.

No matter what, I really enjoyed Twilight and am enjoying True Blood. The Southern Vampire Mysteries are on my wish list for "books I want to read."

~~~~~~~~~
Neat