Always Worth a Chuckle

There is a website that I love to visit that is owned by a mother with three boys.  She calls herself "Queen Linda" and her Blog is called "It's Good to be the Queen." She blogs about her life as the only female presence in her household and writes a weekly address to the other "Queens" of all-male homes.

For her Mother's Day blog entry, she writes, "Since we have more testosterone in our homes than an NFL locker room, I, with your help, have composed this for our special day."  Here is her list:

Moms of Boys Know That Their Sons Will:

Peddle off the roof on their BMX bikes into the swimming pool.

Never know where their other shoe is.

Whip off their pull up, throw it to the ceiling and dance in a shower of diaper gel pellets.

Be able to tell which brother farted by the smell alone.

Wipe boogers on the wall, paint with poo during their artistic brown period and extend their budding magic marker tattoo talents to the dog.

Start a phone call with, “Hey Mom. I’m okay but...” which will later make your car insurance go sky high because “That curb came out of nowhere!”

Play a game consisting of setting mouse traps on a chair and then sitting on them.  Whoever remains the most stoic wins.

Light their farts not realizing they are in the beginning throws of puberty resulting in an unfortunate hair singeing incident. They will then wear their bathrobe to the ER.

Have a contest to see how accurate their aim is by peeing into a cereal box set up in the driveway.

Leave crayons, army men, trading cards, coins, bugs and the occasional snotty kleenex in their pockets so you can find them in the dryer lint trap.

Have phone calls with their friends using only monosyllables and grunts.

Insist on wearing their super hero costume for weeks, never change socks and practice the sniff-and-wear approach to dressing.

Poop in the display potty at Home Depot.

Decorate the kitchen floor with peanut butter, BBQ sauce and honey.

Cut their own hair with safety scissors.

Put playdoh in their diapers.

Pee anytime, anywhere; on the doctor in the delivery, room, in front of church, on the baseball field, in the bathroom trash can, in potted plants...

Proclaim it loudly when they notice that someone has a big butt, is a dwarf or an amputee.

Never learn how to put clothes away, replace a roll of toilet paper or throw out empty boxes of snacks.

Text you when you’re in the same room.

Wad up lengths of toilet paper into a loose cannonball, place them in an upended hand dryer nozzle and hit the button.

Place beenie babies on the blades of the ceiling fan and then turn it on high.

Always - ALWAYS - Love you forever.

I've shared many of these experiences and can only laugh.  Luckily, my boys haven't tried a lot of things on her list and I definitely won't show it to them so that they don't get any ideas!

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Neat

A Sign You May Be Driving Too Fast

Saw this on "Airing My Dirty Laundry" Blog, written by Jackie Papandrew, a humor writer that is in numerous publications. I just had to laugh:

A Sign You May Be Driving Too Fast

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Neat

End of the Year Thoughts

Today was the last day of school. I'm so glad that it is over now. I spent the day party hopping, with visiting the 2nd grade, 5th grade, and 6th grade classes as they celebrated this special day. I enjoyed bagels, cupcakes, and juice while signing yearbooks and saying goodbye. Especially to the 6th graders, who are leaving for the middle school. The promotion ceremony this morning brought tears to everyone's eyes, especially when the little boy with Down's Syndrome was given over $1,000 in donations for the companion dog his family is wanting to purchase for him. There are such generous families here who are absolutely amazing!

This year has had its ups and downs for me. The ups were full of watching extraordinary teachers do their thing and watching kids learn and accomplish amazing tasks. One 6th grade class that I spend time in has increased their math scores significantly and every one of them can write a 5-paragraph essay.  That class of kids will be so ready for their 7th grade year and it is unfortunate that their teacher will be moving on to another school next year. I hope she knows how much she'll be missed and how much our kids benefited with her there.

The downs were watching some mediocre teaching going on which failed to motivate and inspire kids to learn. I worry about those kids next year and hope that they will be able to make up for lost skills.  I also witnessed staff who just didn't seem to care, who seemed depressed, and who weren't supportive of students. That really disappointed me this year. The worst thing to happen during this last month of school was to hear about the budget cuts that had to be made due to the financial crisis. Classes are being combined, which meant teachers had to change grades (some against their wishes), and now class sizes will be larger. Some  Instructional Assistants were not rehired for next year so will have to find other positions.

My position next year will change as a result of a couple of issues: the budget crunch has less available for IA's and one of my son's will be in the 5th and 6th grade resource room. Because of the budget issue, I have only been offered a position in the afternoons instead of mornings, still part time. Because of my son's grade, I'll have to move down to the lower grades to work. I'm not sure how I feel about these changes and have told my boss that I'll be thinking about it and will get back to her.

So summer vacation has now begun! The plans this summer include a lot of camping, visiting with friends, swimming at the pool, and hiking the trails. I look forward to next weekend, when I'll get to have a "Sister's Only" visit where we'll do things that we don't get to do with our families in tow. Another highlight of my summer will be when my parents come to visit and camp with us. It'll be a great summer and I know it will be far too short!

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Neat